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[bluescreenwhitedragon]

"This is Intensity. Leave a message."

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day 121, mid afternoon

[sancrimony]

higanbana: When you have time, do you mind meeting with me?
higanbana: It's a private matter.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

CEO: Of course.
CEO: Do you have a preference for location?

[sancrimony]

higanbana: Beyond the lack of cameras, no.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

CEO: I'll be at your dorm in five.

[sancrimony]

higanbana: Understood.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[Four minutes and some annoyingly odd number of seconds later.

Knock knock, Lucifel]

[sancrimony]

[ opening the door for him - he has probably at this point stopped looking like he was crying like, literally all night long, and he's stepping to the side for him to come in ]

Sorry to make you come all this way on such short notice.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[Are you having a feelings hangover, Luci?

Laughs at the comment:]

All this way. It's four floors.

[But letting himself in all the same]

[sancrimony]

[ he had to eat burnt toast and everything ]

And on short notice, too.

[ closing the door behind him ]

I've prepared some tea, if you like.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

If you've already gone through the trouble.

[He hovers at the doorway a little, considering]

Will the common room suffice? Or are you thinking of something even more private?

[sancrimony]

[ he has been avoiding his room for days, ]

The common room is fine.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[Lucifel... please.



But takes a seat at the kotatsu all the same]

Then when you've finished your required amount of pleasantries.

[sancrimony]

[ sitting down in front of him, to begin preparing the tea to the side - he doesn't carry himself with the same feminine charm that persephone does, but his movement is fluid and practiced all the same. it isn't until after he's served intensity his tea that he speaks - ]

Regretfully, it seems the situation has changed such that I feel I must redirect my course from pursuing a mask of villainy.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[He doesn't even reach for the cup. Not yet anyway]

Regretfully?

[sancrimony]

Ahaha.

Well, perhaps not. Still, it seems the winds are shifting in this place and in the people around me, so it would be difficult to continue pursuing.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

You're going to have to be more specific.

[sancrimony]

Uhm . . .

[ idly, his hands on his lap - he does a good job of not fidgeting, but he looks like he wants to ]

I suppose most recently, Whisky-san said he doesn't want to see me hurt, and he would rather let himself die if it came to it. . .

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

I see.

[Watching Lucifel's reactions closely. My oh my how uncomfortable is he right now]

Was there anything in particular that caused this declaration of affection?

[sancrimony]

[ looks directly at his own lap, this is pet shaming and he's shamed ]

I suppose it was because I had mistakenly told a child that he could kill me in a game.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

. . .

Did you give this child a reason to want to kill you in a game?

[sancrimony]

. . .

He learned about the trial, and he asked me if I would do it again . . . so I said that I would, so it seemed appropriate at the time since he seemed to be compromised in such a way that perhaps . . .

Uhm . . .

In the end, he told Whisky-san about the matter instead, and I was scolded . . .

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

For a number of reasons, I imagine.

And with the end result being you don't want to play the role of a villain anymore?

[sancrimony]

[ finally, twisting his fingers a bit ]

It isn't something so simple as that incident, but . . .

[ . . . ]

Anubis-san said that he would give up on living if things were to continue like this.

Dia-sama . . . I couldn't convince her to so much as protect herself - she would certainly give up rather than continue living.

Now, even Whisky-san - someone who . . . someone who would value survival over everything else, would put himself to the side for me . . .

. . .

If it would ignite in people the desire to live, and so the desire to fight, I could feel more confident about this. But, as it stands - to my own loved ones, if such is the case here, then what have I done but exacerbate such a self-sabotaging desire in them?

Moreover, you saw how it was in Harumaki-san's live - certainly, there was anger, but there seemed to be at least a few people who would rather let themselves die instead of fight.

Something like that - mm, my own position as "villain" isn't enough to do anything for that, and moreover, my own unit would suffer a despair to the point of joining those numbers.

I don't know what to do from this point forward, but . . . I know, at least, that what I'm doing isn't effective enough. So, I must redirect course somehow. Becoming more extreme wouldn't help . . .

I would still look to protect my own unit, naturally - naturally, I would spill blood as I needed. But, if that sort of middling ground that I was given praise for -

If the intent of that time was simply to protect my unit, without doing anything further - then, is there a point left to this villain role. . . ? In the first place, what is the point of continuing on in order to protect this world, if the people in it no longer wish to exist. . . ?

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[He is silent for a few seconds, steepling his fingers as he proceeds to take this all in. Dissect it]

You originally pursued this course of action because you believed that if you didn't, this world and all the people in it would fade to grey. Become the Damned.

If you stopped, do you still think that would occur?

[sancrimony]

Mm. At the moment, it seems like there's discord enough sewn about that this would not be the case.