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[bluescreenwhitedragon]

"This is Intensity. Leave a message."

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[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[THAT'S NOT WHAT HE MEANT.

Get mad, Anubis. Not sad. What did sad ever do for anyone????!

Grabbing him by the scruff of his shirt and pulling him closer]

They're not worth this.

[rollwillpowercheck]

[he's SMAD okay!! thumps a fist not really that hard on Intensity's chest as he's pulled in.]

They have to be! If I s-stop caring, then-- then how do I know I won't just go numb to everything?! It'd be so easy a-and I don't want... I won't give anyone that satisfaction!

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[Going to have to hit him like you mean it if you want it to phase Intensity]

Even when it does this to you in the process.

Breaking in front of a live studio audience is also giving them that satisfaction!

[rollwillpowercheck]

Is it?! Is having emotions and showing them and talking about them so fucking bad?!

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Obviously. Since they're being weaponized to be used against you.

You don't think that the producers think of ratings and drama every time scouting goes looking for a new idol? You don't think Asmodeus had a reason to take both of them under his wing so soon after Heaven's graduation?

You care at your own peril, Anubis.

[rollwillpowercheck]

I'd rather accidentally give them good TV than intentionally give up caring! That's-- that's the same as choosing Hell! And like you're one to talk.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

This isn't a fucking binary decision.

I'm not asking you to stop caring for everyone. I'm asking you to stop caring about righteous assholes who never learn a goddamn thing from their mistakes and are constantly surprised that actions have fucking consequences.

[rollwillpowercheck]

I'm saying-- I'm saying I don't know how! I'm afraid to...! B-because if caring about them could have changed things, and I didn't-- or if I g-get too used to not caring-- o-or--

[breaks off, shoulders shaking as the crying gets the better of him.

please hold.]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[Puts both hands on his shoulders and looks Anubis straight in the eye]

You're not responsible for other people's actions.

[rollwillpowercheck]

[oh.

but-- but????





... oh.

stares at Intensity, unsure of how to respond.]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Do you think caring more about Lucifel would have stopped what happened at the trial? Do you think caring more about your new dumb kid would have stopped him from killing Doodleman?

It's not like they didn't know what they were doing.

[rollwillpowercheck]

If... I'd been able to understand them better-- if I'd known how to reach out to them, maybe things would have been different...

[trails off.

it sounds weak even to him.]

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Did they "see the light" after your explained things to them?

[rollwillpowercheck]

I-- no, but... that was afterwards, and...

[...]

... if it's because I didn't try hard enough, then at least it's something I theoretically could have control over.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

If what world do you have control over other people's stupidity?!

[rollwillpowercheck]

I didn't say it's logical, okay?!

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Why would you---

[Huffs]

I am this close to quoting the definition of insanity at you, Anubis!

[And be the biggest hypocrite in the world because of it]

[rollwillpowercheck]

I want to believe in people and I want... I want to have some feeling of control over things! Because if it's my fault, then eventually I can get better at it and it'll stop happening! But if it's not my fault, then I'm just... helpless!

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

Name one person if you have helped.

And if you say no one, I swear to---

[Waitaminute]

And if you say no one, we both know that that's a fucking lie.

[rollwillpowercheck]

[mmf.]

That's not-- I mean, it's hard to...

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

[[ooc: Minus the first 'if'. Oof me and my typos]]

It's hard to what? Finish your damn sentence!

[rollwillpowercheck]

It's hard to evaluate my own effect on people! It feels presumptuous to just go, "oh, I definitely helped this person."

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

You, Cobalt, and Nine-Nine helped me, didn't you?

[rollwillpowercheck]

Helping with assisted suicide isn't exactly...

[but he's quiet for a moment, looking thoughtful.]

I... like I said, I know it's not... logical. Looking at it objectively, I have to have helped people. But my failures stand out more than my successes. To me.

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

What about contacting the Shop Keeper? Or keeping Nine-Nine on a leash? Or healing people after every game even if they're assholes about it?