★ Seto Kaiba ★ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bluescreenwhitedragon) wrote2020-06-18 06:43 pm
bluescreenwhitedragon) wrote2020-06-18 06:43 pm
Entry tags:
Imeejiversary-ish Question Meme
Bi-annual question meme. I really should probably do these things more often than every 6 months.
SOTU / memes
Will shamelessly copy Marie's format. Thank you, Marie!
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Intensity wants to take that third rate amusement park (Yomiuriland) and convert it into a proper
Kaibalandfirst tier amusement park. Now, he could just makes Blue Eyes everything a la the theme park in his heart. But the rest of FiN has such good mascots. It'd be a shame to not have a Jyanta teacup ride or Snowy Sheepville or a cat cafe or some devastating phoenix roller coaster (for when Shogun is not a coward and gets a phoenix personal assistant) or a bird ride for Shark. So with a lot of points and some creative gadgeteering, they could absolutely do it. And if the other idols don't like it, they can go to that cursed theme park that C voted in. Unit bonding/representation plus nostalgia dream all wrapped up in one nice little package.As for why -- I think Intensity hinted at it to Hurricane before, but his dream back home was to build theme parks around the world where orphans could get in for free. Most of this is due to how his relatives kicked him and his little brother to the orphanage curb after their parents died. He's kind of had to toss that dream in the trash since coming to Hell, because being King of Hell would be his day job and he's probably never going back home. But for all his rants and raves about the past being the past, it's still something very near and dear to his heart.
Because, let's face it. In the ygo manga, Kaiba is a lot like:
Kaiba: I'm going to blow up this tower in a ridiculous symbolic gesture of erasing my past.
Kaiba: (Immediately runs off to build a theme park in America which was his dream when he was ten years old)
So. Full of shit, as per usual. No one is surprised.
Reverse Question: Give me the deets (and links!) to Nemesis and Hurricane antics. Did something happen? I have waited years for this development, and the popcorn is ready!!!
Bonus
Favorite thread: (which is my turn to tag back on, I know!)
Emotion-sharing game bike race. Intensity is bad at mouth words, and Hurricane is an expert at matrix-dodging complicated feelings. Finally these two have a moment where they actually understand each other: https://imeeji-frontstage.dreamwidth.org/411450.html?thread=282686522#cmt282686522
Favorite icon (IC for Intensity):
Favorite icon (OOC for me!):
Re: Bonus
Something did in fact happen with Hurricane and Nemesis! They finally sorted things out during the emotionshare game. They have kissed a few times since then, and in general are being more touchy-feely. (Hurricane is very happy)
Reverse question: What is Intensity's favorite power and why?
Reverse Bonus
Favorite thread: Saaame.
Favorite icon (IC for Hurricane):
Favorite icon (OOC for me):
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Also any CR updates I should know about, please thanks ♥
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This is gonna touch on feelings across a lot of games...
Capitalism game came at an interesting time where it was post "FiN is tired of dying and eating shit" as in the protection and balloon game, but also was post "but maybe we'll take a small hit to save another unit" as shown by the castle game and View Scream. While playing the game, it was not obvious that their actions would be hurting other units, so when it came time to save Silence, Shine and Intensity went all in. Only when they walked out of the game did they realize what had happened to pep! because of it. And even after that, Intensity came to the conclusion that he would have played the same way. FiN has to look out after itself even if he does start having a mini meltdown at the thought of hurting King, Man Eater, or Kohime. But ultimately, the unit has to come first.
And so he really doesn't feel any guilt over the issue. When Wednesday beat two FiN in the second button tournament (and didn't even make it a fair match in Intensity's round in his very biased and wrong opinion since he cheated in a previous round), that cemented that conviction.
Which is why he is currently frustrated with FiN at the moment (Silence in particular) about how not playing the more harsh and rough cards in Gloom is interpreted as abandonment. He does his best to try and play the games in that way that most of FiN will be able to live with and do the unpleasant work himself. This is also tied in with the Taxes game, where Intensity was willing to bloody his hands for the unit to save them. That is why he was conspiring with Kohime solo and leaving FiN to be aghast that people were holding back coins (when FiN itself was part of the problem). So he has a lot of complicated feelings that he has no idea how to parse due to the fact that a) he seems to have the strongest off-unit ties, b) being perceived as soft and c) wondering if he is actually a traitor to his own unit. He is briefly toying with letting them make decisions sans his opinion next time, but if someone he cares about dies while he's moping about feelings, he doesn't know what he'll do. He just knows it probably will be bad.
tl;dr Feelings are bad and completely incomprehensible. But that is not a new problem.
Capitalism game is also where he lost his arm and eye and replaced them with cyborg parts. And there are a lot of implications behind that. Having a metal arm sure has upgraded him from being a weak defenseless noodle to a noodle with a taser and a knife. He sees it as a strength even if technology is null and void in a real Heaven zone (because Intensity himself has given up on real Heaven). He probably would have thought about replacing more of his weak flesh parts for robotics if King hadn't been so sad about it at the time. And he's still on the fence if he would continue to replace parts with tech if he lost more. But regardless, it has really tied him to the FiN brand and the path of Vengeance Hell.
CR Updates:
Emotion-share game was kind of a trip for Intensity. He had no idea he annoyed Cobalt that much when he talked to him which is definite food for thought, since Intensity wears his annoyance on his sleeve. Has anyone ever not been aware when Intensity was annoyed with them? Probably not...
And then for Cobalt to drop that emotional land mind on Intensity was definitely a sign of trust. Except now Intensity is holding a land mind that he has 0 idea what to do with. Especially when it's a land mind of Cobalt's lack of self worth when Intensity cannot fathom how Cobalt can think people won't be interested in him. He is practically prince fucking charming. (AKA not Intensity's type, but a certainly someone's type? Right??? Whoever this mystery relationship person is since Intensity still doesn't know who it is.)
Intensity has the emotional intelligence of a brick. If you present him with a problem or a weakness, he's just going to a) poke at it until it's not a problem anymore, b) needs to be told what the proper response is to that weakness (i.e. being scared of the dark means remember to keep the lights on) or c) until the other party has convinced him it's not a problem anymore.
So when Cobalt showed him this deep-set fear of being unlovable, Intensity had all the usual scalpels ready to prod at it, but Cobalt didn't want to talk about it! ???? What do you want him to do with this forbidden knowledge? He tried to get more information, and Cobalt got more defensive and asked him to forget about it. But does that mean he really wants him to forget about it? Or is that double speak for he's not approaching the problem from the right angle?
It feels that the two of them are at a turning point where they are either going to finally start to understand each other even the littlest bit or that they're going to find their plateau where they can't communicate any deeper than they already have. And I'm excited to see where the road takes them (and yes it is definitely my turn on that thread - I have it tagged to do in my inbox.)
Reverse Question: Tell me about Cobalt vs. Gloom since pep! also pulled a magical win out of their hat. Plus CR updates.
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Remember the GM game? Remember how there were punishment cards that ranged from “can’t visit the conbini for a day” to “crushed knees” and “severed limbs”? Remember how the game went on and on forever and countless people were maimed? Because Cobalt does. Boy does he ever. Despite not getting hit with anything terrible, himself, that was a really, really bad time where he watched many people he cared about get torn apart and killed. He hated it! So much!!
As early as round 2 in the GM game, when they were given an absolutely awful hand of cards to play, they decided a fast, easy, reversible death with no pain or fear was probably more gentle than having both eyeballs scooped out or arms torn off. This decision was validated when their murder went ...really well, actually, with no trauma or hard feelings, and everyone still on friendly terms immediately afterward. Cobalt’s belief that death is better than suffering was reinforced in the House of Mirth, when he died a death so terrifying, excruciating, and slow that dying was a relief, and he STILL isn’t okay. A swift, painless death would have been infinitely preferable to that.
To Cobalt, Gloom looked like just a remixed version of the GM game, and for the most part pep! played the same way they did before. Since winning wasn’t linked to survival here, there was no incentive to try to win. Their two priorities fell back to 1. try to get hurt as little as possible, 2. try to hurt others as little as possible, in that order. Since they had almost no control over the first one, their focus was primarily on the second -- playing as gently as they could. Each round they played only one card, the lowest point value available, written into the story to be as benign as they could.
When they got the death card in round 3, Cobalt still thought the hands were random, like in the GM game. He didn’t know how rare the card might be-- for all he knew, pep was the first one to get it, and if they missed their chance to play it now, they might be stuck indefinitely, getting hit twice per round the way they had been up to that point, until somebody (maybe them?) got killed anyway. So if the options come down to “someone dies” vs. “everyone suffers for a while longer and then someone dies” the better choice almost seems obvious, especially with his opinion regarding a swift death being preferable to fear and suffering, like getting maimed but having to continue playing until whenever the game ended.
They did their best to write an easy death that killed their victims instantly and painlessly in their sleep. In hindsight, he wished he had been clever enough to write it in a way so their bodies weren’t damaged either, so their revival could be painless, too. But overall he’s at peace with his unit’s decision to play the death card. That was the best option they could think of, with the limited information they had, and it was made to try to protect his unit from harm but still tried to be compassionate to the people they were hitting.
Avante, of course, seemed pretty displeased. (They’re allowed to be displeased, though.) After he’d pulled himself together, he poked a couple of avantes he’s close to to see how they’re doing, and most of them have expressed great displeasure, saying they would have much rather suffered and lived, than died even if the death were easy. After having been freshly tortured to death by being ripped apart by wild animals, he cannot relate at all. But he’s doing his best to shut up and listen anyway.
He doesn’t really care all that much that he, himself, got killed in the game, though he is a little salty about how the death was, uh, executed. Not only did their mystery writer not attempt to make this death easier for them, they in fact wrote EXTRA torture into it, going out of their way to include details about their kneecaps getting crushed and their joints getting twisted and so on. It was a really bad death, full of pain and terror and taking much longer than necessary. He is, actually, a little (ok a lot) butthurt about that. But he’s chosen not to focus on it so he can try to dismiss this memory as fast as possible. He still doesn’t know who did it and he kind of hopes it stays that way so he doesn’t have anywhere to direct his bitter feelings.
For the last three trauma games in a row (Gloom, Marketing, Flowers) pep’s been playing the absolute bare minimum, doing a bad job the whole game, and then winning for some reason completely by accident. As usual, pep wasn’t trying to win Gloom all and ended the game with a grand total of 25 points, but THANK GOD THEY ACCIDENTALLY DID because they actually really needed the win this time. But since this keeps happening the way it has, they’re unlikely to change their strategy any time soon.
CR update
Intensity is still hands-down one of the people Cobalt loves and respects most in imeeji. He feels very lucky to know him and consider him a friend, and he’s so deeply grateful for everything Intensity has done for him, which lately includes things such as helping him with his tree fear, hanging out with him after a rough memory, feeding him when he was transformed, playing the emotionshare game with him, and playing with him when he was a child (I assume they eventually did charm Blue Eyes, and it blew baby!Cobalt’s entire goddamned mind, and then they went to the amusement park and had a great time. The thread happened in my heart even if we were too tired to do it in rp.)
He feels pretty damned touched by how well Intensity’s treated him and wants to express his gratitude somehow, but he’s very awkwardly isn’t quite sure how. Apparently gifts isn’t it, and it turns out Intensity doesn’t play Duel Monsters for fun (!?) But since Intensity asked him to chill out, he...will. He guesses.
Currently he’s feeling kind of ashamed of himself for the emotionshare game. I know they’re unpacking things now so I don’t know what to say that they probably can’t say themselves, but the nutshell version is that Cobalt has seen the way the games have been exploiting his fears (plant trauma WHY, why is there so much????) so he’s on a mission to try and deal with them so they can’t be used against him as easily. He’s been making really good progress on trees, now maybe is a good time to stop being scared of being socially ostracized?!! This seems much scarier, though. At least he can hide from trees, but the bullies are in his HOUSE.
Logically, he knows most people probably won’t care, the same way he really doesn’t care about other people’s relationships, but for some reason it feels impossible and terrifying to try and talk about his own. He’d love it if he could just relax and embrace this openly without fear and the first step is experimentally talking about it with someone he trusts. Intensity has never hurt him, and even if he did, Cobalt feels confident at this point that it would be easy to work out. In the past, Intensity started teasing him about this stuff, and Cobalt talked about it a little, which was the most he had addressed this openly either before or since. He didn’t say much but he did mention “it’s frightening” and “I don’t want people to give me grief about it” and “I don’t like talking about this.” The truth is that, despite him aggressively trying to be casual in this moment, he was internally having the same panic-mode meltdown he was having in the emotionshare game. And instead of giving him shit or being judgemental, Intensity was supportive and kind and all of it was a non-issue. And Cobalt is so, so grateful for that, even now.
...Which is why he gave it a shot in the emotionshare game. He kind of expected it to go the same way as before, but this time, he was suddenly very aware of his own feelings and the fact Intensity could see them, and he wasn’t nearly as okay about that as he thought he would be. So that’s an awkward and embarrassing thing that he did, but he sure did it.
And now that he’s done it, he’s panicking a little. He’s waiting to see if this results in a bad consequence, and Intensity bringing it up again has freaked him right out. Even though things are starting to mellow out, he’s extremely off his game and being unreasonably defensive and making lots of bad decisions at high speed in this thread. Which is just making him more stressed, because what if Intensity thinks less of him now, the way he’s afraid people will? Internally, he’s a complete wreck and has no idea what he’s doing.
I don’t know what’s going to happen but hopefully they figure things out. I would love it if they could get to understand each other better but this is uncharted territory so ?????? the future is a fushigi mystery.
Question: What's Intensity going to do with those two Blue Eyes figurines?
Bonus
Favorite thread:
You get two where I almost choked on my drink both times from your reply.
Favorite icon (IC for Intensity):
Favorite icon (OOC for me!):
Re: Bonus
Omake: Check out these comments from almost exactly one year ago. Drunkenly talking about games was so, so good, btw.
Favorite thread:
That one time when I designed a mini, one-person heart game and ran it on the downlow as a dream. Intensity was the one person in Imeeji who got very far with it, and I was so overjoyed with all the things he did and the directions it went that this remains one of my favorite threads in my entire career as a roleplayer (brief though it may be.) Also, since it was secretly a heart game (or at least heart game adjacent), the things that happened in the dream affected Cobalt in waking life, and the things Intensity changed were so beautiful and restorative that there was a measurable improvement in Cobalt's life. Ever since then he's been a lot happier and more stable, and Intensity's contributions were no small part of getting that started.
https://imeeji-frontstage.dreamwidth.org/294021.html?thread=201734021#cmt201734021
Favorite icon (IC for Cobalt):
Favorite icon (OOC for me!):
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and Intensity's future plans!
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Intensity future plans have not changed much from what they've always been. He still has ambitions to be the King of Hell since he hasn't met anyone who he trusts more with the job. "If you want something done right, do it yourself" and all that. Though Heart Game shenanigans did move up the ranking of "Pursuit of Happiness," it's still not enough to outweigh the responsibility (he put on his own shoulders) to ensure that the timeline reaches a good ending. And yes he did lower that bar to just "good" - he's not even going to aim for a happy ending.
The only thing that really has changed is his siding more with Azzy and Vengeance Hell as Azzy has revealed ambitions to create a space where humans are not controlled by their demon overlords and have free agency. Which is pretty much the ideal state for Intensity. Of course, he'll eventually have to take on the rest of Hell (you don't leave enemies to come back and get a revenge arc), but for the moment he has no use for Liar Hell or actual Heaven. This also works in his favor because his #1 priority is getting Mokuba somewhere safe, and aligning with Azzy means you can get a wish/favors before you graduate. So it seems like the obvious choice.
Regarding DVa specifically, he understands that she still wants to take on Lilith's job, but she's not fooling anyone into thinking that she would be happy doing it. And she's doing it as some sort of weird self-punishment trauma that Intensity doesn't have the ability (or the patience) to unravel. Seeing as how that is unlikely to come about in the near future, he doesn't think about it too much. And is also counting on the rest of DVa's harem to talk her out of it, since he really doesn't have an argument to stand on considering his position. If she does take the position, well - he expects her to perform top tier at it or be fired because he is a poster child for everything capitalism.
CR Update
Intensity still sees DVa as a fun and resourceful individual and does value their odd friendship in a lot of ways. In most instances, they are still good complements to each as she goes and does something crazy, and Intensity (being bad at emotions) is pulled in later and just gets grumpy if it was poorly executed without necessarily thinking any deeper on the subject. Some of that is practical (well, she's already dating a host so why not see how far she can take it) and the other is they both have the same core values of living life and doing things without regrets (if you have a problem with their actions, that's on other people, not them). Which is probably not the healthiest, but eh, it works for them.
And for the most part, she is dependable as a ticking time bomb. That is to say, you just have to get things done and defuse her before she explodes, and everything will be all right. One example was Hurricane's heart, where she played her roll as the tank flawlessly and protected Intensity as they mowed down monsters together. She just had to have the rocket launcher taken away from her before she strapped some explosives to it. NBD. Just a Tuesday dealing with DVa. He's learned to work (and in some weird warped way) rely on that kind of ever-looming threat of disaster. And it's actually quite comforting!
The part that he is still struggling with is how to deal with her complete and very destructive lack of self-worth, which branches out into two main issues.
One - how she aggressively denies anything is wrong until the train has left the station and is half-derailed. (I know, I know - kettle calling the pot black. As if Intensity is one to talk). But there were two recent incidents of this that really stood out to Intensity. The first being her Soul Gem being owned by a host and how cagey she was about it. Surely she realizes that this is bad and that she probably should tell Heart, but it took Intensity cashing a blank check to get the truth. And he still doesn't know what to do with that cursed knowledge. Say something and she'll stop talking to him and do even crazier things. Don't say anything - and watch the (probably preventable) disaster fallout. Neither are good options. The other was during end game of this last game Gloom, where she was talking about being a hero and needing to check on people, when actually she just needed Intensity to taze her so she wouldn't transform in to a mosnter. If only she would lead with that. It would make things much simpler...
(On the other hand, Intensity has learned from DVa's mistakes and post Gloom-game, immediately told anyone who he felt he was a danger to that he was hallucinating and that seemed to work out really well. No one smothered him with worry (except King because... well, King) and he was able to avoid any dangerous scenarios because of it.)
Two - is how she laser focuses attention on the person she is with and tries to lavish them with words/actions that they are the best. I think I mentioned this in the last CR update, but Intensity took notice of that as he started doing group outings with DVa. And so when he asked her how many people she was seeing in the objective game, and her response was to get defensive and then throw herself of a dragon --- well. That kind of answered itself. And that's mainly what is keeping the FWB as FWB. Having recently come out of a relationship with Glory where she always seemed to be looking for new people to be happy, and Intensity realizing that he'd probably prefer monogamy over polygamy (or at least fewer people because he is not a people person), he is just not ready to introduce that stress into his life again. And DVa is cagey enough that she won't even give him a number that he can obsessively rank himself against his competition. How is he supposed to be the best if he doesn't know how many people he has to grind into the dirt!
tl;dr He appreciates Dva for her friendship and acknowledges that they are both basket cases who always take things to the extreme. Due to his own relationship issues, he's not looking to add anyone new to the roster, but FWB is fine because at least he will admit out loud that they are friends. What a huge achievement (for Intensity - the emotionally stunted).
Reverse question: Reverse CR me. Plus who is DVa dating and FWB-ing?
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re: Her self worth. It's not that she doesn't have any it's just that she puts anything & everything before herself, and that can ( and does ) definitely look like she doesn't take herself into consideration. It doesn't help that she also aggressively pushes people away if they so much as try to tend to her before she's tended to them. She should probably consider that she could do a better job of helping if she were at 100% instead of, like, 33%, but, alas, hero brain is flawed.
re: Not mentioning her other SOs to him. It's been rocky and she doesn't want A comparing themselves to B and, LBR, she knows you, Intensity, and she doesn't want you to do that. It might have also had ( a bit ) to do with how her and Kohime were up and coming too and she was going to keep that to herself, but I can't remember the exact timelines of a lot of things, so HM. But basically before anybody knew anything about her lovelife things were perfect and it's only gotten rockier since this & that has come to light.
re; Getting tased. She really did just want him to come over! but when she accidentally started making him crazy then he started making her crazy and she knew he ( because he's Intensity ) could easy send her over the edge, so that's why she eventually told him she'd change. She wouldn't have done so otherwise! But D.Va vs Control vs Intensity is STILL A CHALLENGE.
re: Soul. She absolutely knows it's a bad idea, but she's not going to let anything stand in the way of her goal. I also mentioned in my plurk ( somewhere ) that she kind of expects to be alone when the curtains close, so this is kind of a way she can breath life into herself over and over and over. She did tell Intensity why she wanted to do this, straight up murdering Lilith aside, and she stands by that reasoning.
HOKAI. Because Intensity bullied her into spilling the beans about her soul and, yes, I know she basically gave him a blank check, BUT THAT WAS RUDE, she doesn't trust him nearly as much as she once did. This, as mentioned, was a bad and terrible idea and she knows it, and she doesn't want anybody to find out. She already gets railed for doing normal stupid things, so if she were to dial it up to 99... #doom. She pretty much plans to keep anything & everything about her not!girlfriend to herself now.
But she still appreciates him a lot and considers him one of her most important people. He might be a grumpy emotionally constipated jerk, but that's why she loves him. She knows she can rely on him for a good time and that he will always push her to be the best she can be, which is something she definitely needs. It's also nice that someone else also loudly proclaims they can't stand the past, even if they kind of don't, because who cares about that second part. GOAL ORIENTED PEOPLE FOR LIFE. It's so refreshing to see somebody with that viewpoint, because she can really only just stand there and sigh when people take memories and they're horrible and... come on guys WHEN WILL YOU LEARN.
But most of all Intensity is one of a couple of people she feels she can be real with. I think, by now, most people have noticed she wears a mask of some sort. It recently broke apart and she was a mess for a while, but she's finally managed to piece it back together, so she can get back to her usual song & dance. But she can always let it out ( IF SHE NEEDS TO ) to him. Like, that doesn't mean she will, but when she's ready to burst or whatever he's one of the people she'd feel comfortable doing it in front of. Mostly I'm talking about crying, but also just yelling about frustrations and stuff like that too. Of course she'll always fall back on the I'm fine thing, but that's just the default.
Dating: King, Nero, Raven ( and she considers them dating whether or not he does, womp )
FWB: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a lot?
Favorite Icon for D.Va:
...honestly any of his surprised faces.
Favorite Icon for Me:
I DONT KNOW WHY BUT I LOVE THIS ICON/POSE
I actually have screenshots of that episode on my desktop...
I'm too lazy to find threads RN, but my two favorite threads were Intensity taunting D.Va about control in Other Hell when she had just gotten her tentacles and then the talk they had when she wrecked her car. Any of their serious conversations are always really special.
Bonus
Favorite thread:
DVa and Intensity talking about her love dodechedron (because somehow he is neutral to positive with all people involved. How did this happen? We just don't know): https://bluescreenwhitedragon.dreamwidth.org/6664.html?thread=2626056#cmt2626056
Favorite icon (IC for Intensity):
Favorite icon (OOC for me!):
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As you mentioned in your CR meme, Intensity and Kohime understand and relate to each other very well. So when they approach each other with a problem, the result is usually advice and actionable takeaways that are fairly comfortable to do (with some caveats). This is in stark contrast to a lot of his other relationships where he gets (unreasonably) defensive because people don't see his point of view and he is by nature an argumentative and prideful person. But with Kohime, he doesn't have to put up those walls. When Kohime was afraid of staying at BiT, Intensity offered to stay with her. Even went and talked to all of BiT (a little behind her back) to try and get their perspective. And when Kohime thinks Intensity is not playing hard enough in games, she'll tell him to his face. At least from Intensity's side, he trusts Kohime to do what is best for the both of them and he doesn't have to question it.
Intensity also appreciates Kohime, because no matter how bad things get for herself, she also never forgets about him. The Flowers Game was a rough time for everyone. And due to his flowers side effects, he really couldn't go to Kohime's side without risking his own humiliation, so he didn't. (Sorry, pride trumps all a lot of the time.) But he watched from afar and saw that she was being taken care of by avante so he let it be. That was also a crucial time where she needed to be with avante so she could acclimate to her new unit. So he was thoroughly surprised when she showed up at the FiN doorstep later that day. After she literally was erased from existence, her priority was to give him a status report because she knows how important work is to him.
Top tier Intensity friendship. Would protect forever with his life.
Intensity does think a lot about their similarities - how their adoptive parents treated them like garbage, how they only had themselves to depend on for survival growing up, and how they are both pining after a paladin. And Intensity only knows Kohime is pining because he's had like 200 Imeeji days to stare at the ceiling about his feelings for King. Sorry, girl, you have the exact same problem. Sucks, doesn't it? But the main difference is that while Intensity stubbornly (and sometimes incorrectly) still insists that he can win, Kohime feels (and has stated multiple times) that she always loses. And that's the kind of (unfounded) confidence that Intensity wants to instill in Kohime. "The paladin doesn't get to decide when they're done with you. You get to decide when you're done with the paladin." -- Has basically been his motto for sanity, which probably explains a lot about why he is insane.
So.
Intensity does hope that he can somehow help Kohime find Adora so she can kick down the door to whatever production Adora is a zombie on and drag her home. It's really the least he can do for someone who has done so much for him. The latest memory does give him a little bit of hope (and god he hates that word) that perhaps she might get to have a less awful ending. And if Adora does show up again, surprisingly he will not be jealous about it (though he might give her shit for all the things she put Kohime through -- from his skewed perspective. All bets are off about that.) Because destined rivals are destined rivals and Intensity wants Kohime either to get what she wants or abandon Adora on her own terms.
tl;dr His cat for life. And he wants nothing more than for her to believe in her own worth and agency.
Reverse Question: What are Kohime's thoughts on BARiTONES now that she's a little more settled at avante?
Bonus
Favorite thread:
Despite the little floof being the cutest in the Heart Game, Intensity still prefers Kohime as she is now. Is that a bad thing? Maaaaaybe: https://purrrnicious.dreamwidth.org/5674.html?thread=927530#cmt927530
Favorite icon (IC for Intensity):
Favorite icon (OOC for me!):
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Just when you think these two couldn't possible escalate anymore, they manage to find a way.
As if it wasn't completely obvious (and given away by the nicer parts of Intensity's heart), Intensity does indeed love King but you would have to pry those words from his cold dead body. So thank goodness for buddy bond/system (even though he doesn't say it there either)! But it does get through all the ridiculous walls and hurdles that Intensity puts up so the two of them can have a feelings "conversation." That is to say there is no actual conversation; there is just direct feelings pumped into each other's veins which is now Intensity's preferred method.
So last CR meme left off with King giving Intensity a ring for Christmas which he is still baffled by to this day. (It's because he loves you, stupid.) As Intensity does with all things, he interpreted it as a challenge. So his response had to be an escalation and a production. So not only was the return proposal a ring, but it was also public reveal that Intensity followed King to the afterlife because he literally couldn't live without him. And the result: critical success. Super effective. And further moving the dial just a little bit that Intensity doesn't want to just beat King; he wants him to be happy, too.
And that's kind of the direction that Intensity has been steadily headed. See, the thing about Intensity is in order to get what you want, you have to make him think it was his idea or give him what he wants in the process. And the aptly named King of Games is a master at doing just that. So through their time together, Intensity has learned that the best weapons to use against King are ones that either attack his vanity or that he is just a dumb soft boy with simple needs. Bonus points if you can achieve something that does both at once.
And the end result has been Intensity being creative(?) in his trap cards in order to fluster King. Breakfast in bed got fantastic results. Fulfilling one of King's fantasies when Intensity had BARiTONES abilities was another (hope y'all are using puppeteering to it's full potential, just saying.) Drunken buddy bond was a mutual idea, so he can't take credit for it - unless he gets credit for being drunk first. But anyway - yes, only further escalation here. And flustering his rival speechless where he doesn't get mad after the fact is always very rewarding, so Intensity keeps pushing those buttons.
Then came a stretch of 2 IC weeks (encompassing the first time of DVa's first transformation plus the flower burning game) where King just seemed... more exhausted than usual. Actually, King has always been tired (even from their first buddy bond), but this was just more and worse. And King was also feeling like a failure (which is unfathomable to Intensity. He wouldn't date anyone who wasn't the absolute best). And it seemed that King was so fraught with worrying after DVa, Heart and other people that in fact, Intensity was starting to get a little jealous. [As an ironic aside, the a probably unintended side-effect of "Pursuit of Happiness" being moved up in Intensity's Heart priorities is that jealousy also ramped up. He never considered too much what he wanted (priming himself to be the King of Hell), but now that stray "happy ending" thoughts come and go, Intensity is more fiercely possessive of what he wants.]
Except, no. It wasn't jealously. Or correction, it's not just jealousy that Intensity was feeling. He's worried about King and fussy over King. And slowly (slowly) coming to the realization that he wants King to be happy and he wants to be a contributing factor to that happiness instead of just someone to rely on (like he has mentioned before). And that for all the times King has fondly brought attention to their rings (or even was the one who brought up the idea of rings in the first place) that maaaaaaybe, he can do something in this Imeeji month of weddings to make King happy. And maybe forever is something that King wants, too. Even though Intensity has been dreading admitting that to himself because what if he's wrong. He has been wrong about this relationship many times before! And he still has lingering abandonment issues since his entire life has just been one person dumping him to the curb after the other. (Some because they died which is not their fault, but Intensity would never see it that way.)
But to not do something about King and this would be cowardly, and Intensity is no coward. So - the only path on this road is forward! Escalations only!
(That is to say, expect some stupid antics in your inbox soon. And I mean, real stupid)
Reverse Question: Reverse rival feelings me!
Bonus
Favorite thread:
All of them. GAWD how am I supposed to pick just one?! I will go with "date" in the cathedral and drunk buddy bond: https://puzzlekeeper.dreamwidth.org/2747.html?thread=747963#cmt747963Favorite icon (IC for Intensity):
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I am so glad for how this CR has developed. It started out as the typical person A has good intentions (see Exhibit Kaguya) telling Intensity info about their situation in Hell. But alas, working with Intensity directly is akin to licking sandpaper, and she tossed him out of the Taisho dorm after one interaction. This, my friends, is why Intensity has PR do most of the legwork for him.
But then later, Intensity needed a representative on Taisho, and B was like --- well who else is it going to be but Kaguya? And Intensity looked at the Taisho roster back then, and sure enough B was right. (B is always right.) So they began a very polite and professional (and two football field length distant) relationship.
That all changed in Hurricane's heart game. What is the easiest way to work your way into Intensity's good graces outside of work? Selflessly protect someone that he considers his. Bonus points if you never ask for anything in return. And in Hurricane's heart, Kaguya immediately tanked for Angel to protect her so that was like 3 levels up in Intensity's CR rankings. Kohime's heart also helped - as they chatted briefly there - but to a lesser degree because Intensity ran off to explore that on his own (as he tends to do with people he is extremely close to so they don't catch wind to how much of a sap he is.) But yes, Hurricane's heart game was the first time Intensity's perception of Kaguya upgraded from "nice girl" to a brave person with strong convictions. Still a little bit too paladin-y, but no one's perfect.
Since then, Kaguya and Intensity have had quite a few friendly (and dare I say fun?) interactions. Her teasing is not malicious and she has a tiny bit of a competitive streak, so they get along well together. And then can talk about politics and units without it devolving into (too many) feelings or a bitter argument. It's true that Taisho is not high on FiN's list of people to protect (and Intensity having the most off-team relations means he's hesitant to add more for his sake), but hitting Taisho just doesn't have the same indifference it used to. They are in fact too similar for it to be comfortable - both units hit hard in order to survive but also have many units they wish to protect even if it's unsure whether that protection is reciprocated. He still thinks about the Taxes game a lot and still doesn't have a solution. And for Intensity, that leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He's not a paladin - not everyone can be saved. But sacrificing Kaguya also doesn't feel good (even if he'd do it again).
As a side note, he is pretty concerned about the memory he saw where whats-his-bucket (official name in Intensity's head) told her that whatever she did would never amount to anything. That really raised his hackles because after he has seen Kaguya be clever and brave and determined in Imeeji, he knows that isn't true. And this is a far different cry from a competitive "do better" from a rival pushing her to be better; this is manipulation meant to keep her down. But he has no path forward on how to assist her in her own struggles to be a worthy person. It's just something he keeps in the back of his mind a lot during their interactions.
Levi:
From their first conversation way way waaaay back when he first arrived, Intensity pegged Levi as a paladin who wanted to save everyone at all cost without thinking too hard about the consequences. On the up side, that means he is thoroughly predictable and slotted into the non-threat category (except for the fact that he could kick Intensity's ass). On the downside, . . . "why are all of you like this" is a thought he has a lot of the time. Not to say that Intensity does not also live in his own world of denial (ooooooh boy, he does), but they are different incompatible flavors. Finding out he was from the same world as Hiryuu actually made perfect sense to Intensity. Maybe it's something in the water over there.
Since then, all of their interactions have been mostly of the transactional variety. He (or someone under his care needs healing), Levi heals, he pays Levi. Very nice and uncomplicated. Just how he likes it.
I'm interested to see where their CR goes from here because Intensity is obsessed and fiercely territorial of all things Blue Eyes White Dragon and Levi just happens to be... well a Blue Eyes White Dragon. What if he was always in the tiny dragon state? THIS SEEMS PREFERABLE. But he hasn't had the time to parse this out fully or the fact that Seto on HSS also has a BEWD aibou. Copycats! All of you! (Because surely that is what it is.) As we all know, he has a problem with sharing.
Reverse question: CR me back.
Bonus
Favorite thread:
Queen Bee Live. This is maximum cute: https://imeeji-frontstage.dreamwidth.org/423317.html?thread=288254357#cmt288254357
Favorite icon (IC for Intensity):
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But as for actual questions, Intensity vs stories game clusterfuck? Ie just how many people died this time round.
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As for Gloom the clusterfuck: Intensity is actually surprised by the number of units that went all in with the death card. Even when he read the rules, he was thinking in his head "well ZRAEL or BARiTONES will play a murder card because they will be ahead and then we can sneak in some more points to keep us in the top half winner-circle". Obviously that didn't work out. AT ALL. And the fact that some of his favorite people got caught in the cross-fire (Man Eater, Kohime, and Cobalt) is still something he's trying to work through.
In a strange bout of role-reversal for him, Intensity was also the one trying to reign his unit in from playing hard this game. They mistakenly thought they had a murder card in the second round (being trampled) and he put his foot down on playing it, and the other FiN paladins like Angel and Duality agreed. But then when break multiple bones came into play, he also vetoed that because that is not really that semantically different from being trampled and got more resistance. Ironically, he found out later that they were playing on HSS and HSS was playing on them - so if they had escalated, they probably would have escalated in return. This whole game in general made him highly aware that he definitely had the most off-unit CR, which is weird to think about as he self-identifies as an asshole who doesn't need friends. And also perhaps that his viewpoint has slightly altered in regards to unit unity because of it.
So in that respect if his usually logical and cohesive unit had a rough time, maybe it's no so surprising that five units played murder cards when tensions and emotions were high.
To him, it is a little strange that death is the no-no line to cross being from a world where he has cheated (and beat) death. Since death has no permanence here, he finds the outcome welcome when weighed against continually suffering. But then he has a very skewed perception due to having debilitating nightmares for months in canon (thanks, King! -- no he loves him, really) so drawn-out torture where you sit and wait for the game to end is not really his cup of tea.
Also, he hasn't really addressed this issue with his unit because being ultra defensive about it (and SU-PA--- petty at Silence and Shogun), so we'll see how the next trauma game like this goes down. Either he's going to be a dictator or a bystander, since Intensity doesn't know how to do anything in half measures.
Reverse question: Tell me about your boys' love lives.
Bonus
Favorite thread:
Kirin was a good boy (who didn't understand ygo): https://bluescreenwhitedragon.dreamwidth.org/4810.html?thread=250058#cmt250058
Favorite icon (IC for Intensity):
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I touched on this briefly last CR meme, but the Intensity and Man☆Eater vs. ☆ZRAEL issue seems to get wider and wider as time goes on. Obviously a large chunk of this is due to breaking things off with Glory and Glory avoidance, but there is still the same core of "this is not the ☆ZRAEL I grew up with" nostalgia even though Man☆Eater seems to be happier with ☆ZRAEL overall. He does kind of wish he could just go to the ☆ZRAEL dorm, but that seems selfish and hypocritical considering his usual stance. He does think it would be a good confidence booster for Man☆Eater if he did so. So basically still torn about that with no resolution.
In terms of Man☆Eater himself, Intensity just... well. Loves him. Though the words will never leave his mouth. Man☆Eater has been a solid source of comfort and friendship and attraction and stability since forever. Long before most people arrived in Imeeji. They always meet up after bad games (after taking care of what they need to) in a rare showing of Intensity and good boundaries. They don't really fight all that much, generally understand each other, and the physical aspect is pretty great. Only compliments on Intensity's end. The uptick in Man☆Eater getting hurt and killed is really fucking with Intensity, though, except Man☆Eater doesn't seem to mind it too much (or doesn't want to linger on those kind of weaknesses). So it's very deflating balloon - Intensity isn't going to be more mad than the victim unless he's trying to strong arm the person from a stupid belief (like they deserved to die/their life is worth less) which Man☆Eater is very staunchly not doing.
Intensity has also been thinking a lot more about monogamy and the number of people you can have feelings for without everything being a train wreck, but every time he takes inventory he still can't narrow it down to more than three (King, Man☆Eater, Blue Eyes - don't ask what's going on the DVa front even Intensity doesn't know) so it's like poly leaning monogamy...? Perhaps new words need to be invented but this is sort of the sweet spot for him despite the 7 wives joke. Feelings are hard. Multiple relationships are hard. He's having a hard enough time choosing between SOs (King and Man☆Eater) and best friends (Kohime and Angel). So can we not have any more of those, please?
Still looking for that rival material for you though, buddy. Because those are shoes that Intensity definitely cannot fill for Man☆Eater. He is definitely a card game adrenaline junkie and Man☆Eater is a physical fight adrenaline junkie, and all the training in the world will probably not make Sir Noodleman good sport for Man☆Eater. Also, after multiple traumas inflicted on multiple people, he is very much a staunch supporter of NO VIOLENCE IN BED. (Not that any of their times have leaned into that category, but it also seems like something Man☆Eater might be into that he should be able to explore.)
So thank goodness for Man☆Eater's tolerance of Intensity's awkward and inelegant attempts at digging into Man☆Eater's "Hot or Not" list as well as trying to kick him in the right direction. Doing so is a delicate balance of trying to encourage Man☆Eater while not feel like he's trying to abandon him, and Intensity is probably failing on all fronts. Ooops. You're not!dating a stupid.
In other news, Intensity has been thinking a lot about how he enjoys being able to call Man☆Eater Izumu and kind of wishing he had something to give Man☆Eater in return. "Kaiba" is dead and gone and buried (thanks, trial!) but he still kind of thousand yard stares at the name "Seto". Mostly because it's attached to his doppleganger which he wants no part of and ties him to his that ygo destiny bullshit. But also, he's sure that Man☆Eater would be able to be respectful about that. To date, he had a major meltdown at Mokuba about his real name during GM and still allows Mokuba to call him Seto, so that seems like a distinctly family thing. And Man☆Eater is definitely family, so--- stayed tuned to see if his can acquire one brain cell of bravery to do this.
Other side note, since they both own a different cat, when are they going on a four way destruction derby playdate. Intensity probably needs to figure out the cats aren't fighting first... so who knows.
tl;dr Loves Man☆Eater. Man☆Eater needs a rival. Probably fucking up the poly thing but Intensity and feelings are always a massive fuck up.
Graduation:
Once Azzy stops leaving Intensity on read, he is going to preemptively ask to use his wish to keep Mokuba safe and sign his soul away to Vengeance Hell. Of the two viewpoints, Azzy's aligns closely with his own, and he knew that he was never going home. With King and Mokuba here and no Kaiba name, he has 0 reasons to return. So that's the first step in climbing the corporate ladder. Moving up from washing dishes to... low-level peon. It's somehow like he's done this before.
Reverse Question: CR in reverse ♥
Bonus
Favorite thread:
Still really enjoy that turning point in Liar Hell: https://bluescreenwhitedragon.dreamwidth.org/3129.html?thread=1303865#cmt1303865 and Izumu/Rizumu/Little Red in Intensity's heart game: https://idolpro.dreamwidth.org/92087.html?thread=21029559#cmt21029559
Favorite icon (IC for Intensity):
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Maybe the most significant step forward is that Man☆Eater does also, at this point, believe that Intensity loves him. For a pretty long time (as I think I've mentioned in previous CR responses), he was bent out of shape about not being as important to Intensity as Intensity was to him, but ever since Intensity first called him "family" to his face after the House, that has long since stopped being a worry of his. He is very comfortable in the relationship and pretty confident in what they both mean to each other. (After all, what's more important than family?) Even if he may bristle a little at other people flirting with Intensity in front of him (sorry D.Va) because that's just his knee-jerk instinct, it's no longer because he actually feels threatened.
... Well, mostly. The King situation is a bit more complicated. When Intensity aired the DSoD epilogue memory, he had a lot of complicated feelings of a) being angry on Mokuba's behalf over being "left behind" (as Man☆Eater sees it) and b) seeing a situation that hit a little too close to home ("choosing" between obligation to a sibling and pursuing a rival) but seeing Intensity go after what he selfishly wanted, and deep down, envying that a little. And on a smaller level, it did introduce some new doubt—if Mokuba was family, doesn't that mean he'd leave me behind for King, too? If put in a situation where he has to choose, won't he just pick King without hesitation? So that's still eating at him a little.
(But three-way sexy dress-up dates surely count as some kind of progress? Maybe? WE'LL FIND OUT.)
The other big thing is that as Man☆Eater aims (without any progress so far, but hey) to push forward on graduating/becoming a demon, he's been thinking a little bit more about the future. He's cheekily/flippantly tossed around the word "forever" a few times, and part of him just takes for granted that they will always be together, but he has started to idly wonder about what the shape of their future may look like in a more concrete sense. Since they are both planning to align themselves with Hell, he figures they're headed in the same general direction... but he does find himself wondering more and more about what sort of place Intensity sees for him in his future.
ETA: ALSO GOD I definitely want four-way playdate now!! Man☆Eater still has to prove to Kohime that he's not all talk, so maybe something could happen there... Hmmmmm!
Reverse question: Does Intensity have any SECRET FANTASIES?
Bonus
Favorite threads:
Obligatory Betrayal mk. 2: https://imeeji-frontstage.dreamwidth.org/299459.html?thread=205136323#cmt205136323
Red's graduation (Intensity puts up with a lot): https://imeeji-frontstage.dreamwidth.org/229627.html?thread=160443131#cmt160443131
Favorite icon (IC for Man☆Eater):
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Which brings us to the next point - her home life and personal desires or perhaps the correct term is lack thereof. When people from her world started arriving, Yvette made sure to come and tell Intensity about them. Which is good in that he likes to be informed. What is confusing about it is there seemed to be no action items on his end as a result of that exchange. Is he supposed to manage more of the workload (small as it is currently) so she can deal with that? Should he expect some sort of canon mate shenanigans to be happening? He really doesn't know.
And that leads to the last point - what does Yvette not want to happen or not want to do? They've been over worst and best case scenarios, talked ideas to death. But for all the other employees there has been a "tap-out I'm not touching that situation" moment. For Intensity - it's mostly people handling, for B - it's dealing with the more dangerous types in Imeeji, for Talon - well, let's face it, all of them try to shield Talon a little while giving him agency. But with Yvette, there is nothing she won't do or even hesitates a little about. Which on one hand is great. But also has become a little worrying over time.
Yvette, are you secretly just another rare breed of paladin? Always working for the greater good with no thought to her own wants and needs.
That's a thought that Intensity has been chewing on recently. Though, once again, he's not sure what the appropriate action is there for him to take (if any), so for now he's just being patient and watching and waiting. Maybe at some point, he'll pull in B, but also B has a lot of stuff on his plate right now on a personal level. So Whew! to that option as well.
Also butthurt about "Never Have I Ever," but what can you expect from a guy with this much ego and a sore loser to boot. Surely he will enact his revenge at some point. But for now, the score is set to a solid Yvette: 2 Intensity: 0 - if we count the Printensity drunk escapades.
Well played, Yvette, well played.
Reverse CR me?
Bonus
Favorite thread:
Could it be anything other than Prinstensity: https://imeeji-frontstage.dreamwidth.org/181381.html?thread=123242373#cmt123242373
Favorite icon (IC for Intensity):
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Question(ish): tell me more about Intensity's frustration with Silence during trauma games~ Unless there's not much more to it than what you said in response to Rah, then, in that case, please tell me what Intensity makes of his unit overall.
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