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[bluescreenwhitedragon]

"This is Intensity. Leave a message."

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[carnivorouscarnival]

Man☆Eater: they might have some kind of weakness to exploit
Man☆Eater: but fuck if i know what it is.
Man☆Eater: at least i managed to get some info from heaven's more peaceful messengers
Man☆Eater: after they talked me in circles for 20 minutes
Man☆Eater: UGH

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

CEO: What kind of info?
CEO: What fucking corporate kool-aid did they fucking drink to increase their saturation to 150%?

[carnivorouscarnival]

Man☆Eater: shit i forgot to ask that
Man☆Eater: anyway i don't know how much of this has gotten around so stop me if you've heard this
Man☆Eater: but as far as heaven's side of the story goes
Man☆Eater: we're in literal hell
Man☆Eater: but since we're mere mortals our souls can't handle being here or something
Man☆Eater: as in we can't maintain our individuality
Man☆Eater: the "higher beings" who watch over us (audience, i guess?) protect us and allow us to stay individuals
Man☆Eater: but unit identities are the only way they can tell us apart
Man☆Eater: for some reason
Man☆Eater: and if they can't tell us apart they can't "see us" anymore and can't protect us
Man☆Eater: thus premature greying

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

CEO: If I heard it before, it doesn't matter because it's already leaked from my brain.
CEO: At least now I have it in fucking writing.
CEO: So assuming that this is true---
CEO: Or at least the powers that be want us to believe it's true.
CEO: Why are we even here in the first place?
CEO: Seems like a giant pain in the ass for some cheap ass b movie entertainment.

[carnivorouscarnival]

Man☆Eater: i tried asking that
Man☆Eater: why bring us somewhere if we're so unsuited for it?
Man☆Eater: but apparently they didn't think to ask god during their consultation

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

CEO: Bold of you to assume that they think in the first place.

[carnivorouscarnival]

Man☆Eater: 😎
Man☆Eater: gyahaha

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

CEO: Rake in those pity offerings when they finally come to their senses.
CEO: Drain them for all they're fucking worth.

[carnivorouscarnival]

Man☆Eater: consider it done
Man☆Eater: want a cut of the profits?

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

CEO: Figures ☆ZRAEL would be bad at fucking business.
CEO: Keep the damn gifts.
CEO: And if they offer points, don't you guys need the fucking ocean to go with your blood moon?

[carnivorouscarnival]

Man☆Eater: you joke but i'm pretty sure Red already put in an upgrade request for that

[ . . . ]

Man☆Eater: if you remember that much i guess you're not going THAT senile
Man☆Eater: or maybe we just make that strong an impression?

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

CEO: How fucking gone would I have to be---
CEO: To forget a fucking moon in the ceiling.
CEO: Apparently what you kind of sensei you are is completely forgettable though.
CEO: What do you teach?
CEO: Piano? Or are you more of a violin guy?

[carnivorouscarnival]

Man☆Eater: here i'll use visual aids to explain
Man☆Eater: like a good teacher
Man☆Eater: 👊
Man☆Eater: 🔪🔪🔪
Man☆Eater: 💀

[bluescreenwhitedragon]

CEO: So---
CEO: Forensic scientist.
CEO: Got it.
CEO: I really fucking hope that means you'll help me hide a body someday.

[carnivorouscarnival]

Man☆Eater: of course ♥
Man☆Eater: what are rivals for?