bluescreenwhitedragon

I know that information gathering is not your forte.

You'll probably feel more useful once we have actionable things that we can do.

[...]

I'm fine at information gathering in some situations. All my memories are basically murder investigations, you know. I'm just not good at lying. Or... delicately questioning.

And what exactly are "actionable things"? I don't want to be the person who just waits around until there's a bunch of demons to kill.

I was thinking more reconnaissance.

You have good spatial awareness and could probably get into a lot of places unnoticed. If there was something worth breaking into around here anyway.

...Do you really think there's anything we can do around here "unnoticed"?

Yes. I do.

Or at least things we can do our friends upstairs won't think twice about.

...Well, that I believe. That was part of my plan, initially. To be someone they didn't think to worry about doing anything important... until it was too late.

Has your plan changed since then?

Part of the plan was not talking about the plan at all and doing it by myself, to make completely sure it was off the radar. But that didn't really work out, since then I didn't get told anything about what was going on, and I do need some information to figure out an approach.

...And either way, now I'm probably too involved with you to be totally ignored.

You had the notes. Same as everyone else. Was that not enough to make your own decisions?

...It clearly wasn't. I mean, look at what happened when we were going gray.

A was in contact with Exael, and talked to other people who were, and so he knew that it was her who'd told them it was a result of not playing our roles properly. When they announced it to everyone on Dissonance, they didn't say where it came from, so I thought that was just a theory and no one actually knew what was going on.

And of course, Joker knew Anubis had summoned a demon. So he got his and Nine Nine's help when he tried to summon Asmodeus. I didn't even know that was a thing you could do.

I don't know what I would have done if I'd known all of that. But there were definitely plenty of things I couldn't even consider.

Edited 2019-07-25 05:34 (UTC)

Maybe you would have drunk dialed Exael.

That's what I did!

Maybe.

[flat, not amused.]

And then there was C, telling people about graduation and then about Exael messing with the protection game based on who he felt like telling. I did hear about that, but I could just as easily not have. You don't think that could possibly be useful information to make some kind of plan?

[sighs, trying to release some of her annoyance]

...Look, just don't act like everything important is freely available. It's fine that you all keep some information on a need-to-know basis. That's reasonable. But it means I can't make a plan no one knows about, because if no one knows I'm making a plan, apparently no one thinks I "need to know."

It's a matter of give and take, Maki. Why would I give you anything if you're not going to give me anything in return?

Am I supposed to just trust you'll do the right thing?

...No.

That's why I told you my plan changed.

Good. Then you've learned the first step of being a business partner.

You have to bring something to the table.

...I'm not completely incompetent, you know. It's not like I ever planned to just do nothing for and offer nothing to anyone else. I can gather information fine if I have anywhere to gather it from.

This has nothing to do with competency. Stop putting words in my mouth.

This has to do with the fact that you are surprised and hurt that people wouldn't tell you anything when at the time, you also were not telling people anything by design.

And you do so selectively. I also knew Exael's number. And when my brain wasn't leaking out of my ears - that the intel in Dissonance also came from Exael, and I didn't tell you. Are you upset at me too about that?

I wasn't telling people that I planned to act against the producers when I had a chance, or that I was making preparations for various things, because that could tip the producers off, and my plans were based around the element of surprise! If I had access to important information about what was going on in this place, I wouldn't just keep it to myself! And if I told anyone, I would definitely tell the people important to me! I just didn't have any of that information!

[fumes quietly for a moment]

...Yes, I was upset. Because it was upsetting when I was turning gray, losing all my memories, and terrified! I had no idea what was going on, no recourse to look to, and no idea what I could possibly do. And it was more upsetting to know that all my most important people did have those things, and left me in the dark.

I am upset at you too. Or, I was. And it does has to do with competence, because you clearly didn't trust me or think I could have done anything productive with the information, or you would have told me. Maybe that's my fault for not demonstrating I could, or that I was trustworthy. But that still upset me.

Ah yes, how could I forget? You know my intentions better than I do after all.

I'm just listening to what you're saying! Just now you implied I wasn't bringing anything to the table! I've been here the whole time, I have plenty of my own thoughts about what's happening, I have skills and abilities, and I'm willing to do whatever's necessary. I've told you what I know, I've tried to brainstorm, I've offered help. How is that nothing, unless you think I'm incapable of coming up with good ideas or doing anything useful?

Sure, I'm going to have less information to give you than someone who has Exael on speed dial. But that's not because "information gathering isn't my forte," or because I was "not telling people anything by design." Do I need to randomly commit suicide or summon a demon or jump into an abyss to learn something big before I'm allowed to know what's going on? Because I can do that, but I'd assumed you'd prefer if I didn't do anything incredibly stupid!!

I don't want you to do anything stupid. You have that much right. As for the rest---

My problem isn't with your capabilities. Or even really a matter of trust. Not really.

It's your motivation.

You never really cared about staying in the loop in the beginning outside of showing up to the meetings everyone showed up to. You never donated points to the cause. If you had, maybe you would have been the one with Exael on speed dial - that's how she picked who got to visit her, you know.

And even now when you talk about it, you talk more about desiring a mutual partnership than the actual end goal.

That's not how I operate.

I work closest to those who have the same end goal as I do. Who will prioritize that goal over everything. Their relationships. Their teams. Their feelings. All of it.

If it came down to successfully completing a critical mission versus abandoning someone you care about, would you be able to choose the former over the latter? I'd choose the first every time without hesitation.

I did care about staying in the loop! What exactly did I not do that I should have?! Apart from donating points, which—you're right, I did know about the fundraising, and think was a good idea, and I still chose not to. But I had no way to know she'd take everyone who donated points, and putting my points toward that sort of thing would be like raising a flag to say they should keep an eye on me. Sorry for assuming that you'd pick the right people to talk to her and then return the information to everyone!! But you shouldn't assume I didn't care!

Do you want to know my motivation?! My goals?! Everything I was not telling you?!

[She pulls her combat knife out of her skirt and slams it down on the table.]

The way I figured... There's a good chance at some point they'll slip up and give us an opportunity. But we won't know when it will happen, and we have to be ready to take advantage of it immediately, and it's best if they don't expect and prepare for beforehand. So... my plan was to stay under the radar and prepare myself for that.

[Also from her skirt comes a set of throwing knives. Then a trench knife, from her boot, the navaja knife to match the one she gave him, from her hair, and her revolver, from her concealed back holster. They all get laid out in a row.]

I said I don't want to just wait around to kill demons, but if the opportunity arises...Well, I don't know how useful all that will be, but I do know it's something I'm good at, so... at least I can be ready. But I've got some more specialized stuff, too.

[From her corset comes a handled garotte wire. From a small pocket, a tiny vial of poison, and a matching antidote.]

Those are for Asmodeus. He reflects any injuries done to him back, right? But what about poison, or strangulation? ...I can at least try, and if it hits me, I can deal with it.

I've practiced a lot of things, too. Not just fighting. It's not the same without Makes Perfect, but I don't want to rely too much on the abilities they gave us, anyway.

[a pause]

...I know that's still mostly about killing. I've tried to think of ways I can learn more about what's going on. It's true I'm not good at lying, and Asmodeus is more likely to be interested in talking to me than Exael anyway... because of the whole 'vengeance' thing. But I've been pretty public about how much I hate him, so I don't think I could play along. Still... I want to see if I can figure out what he wants from Absinthe. Or, if I could convince Exael or someone else that I want to kill him more than anything, and get them to try to use me that way...? That wouldn't really be a lie.

But I don't know how to execute on those things, and I don't want to run into whatever you're doing, either. That's why I keep talking about working together.

Edited 2019-07-29 00:15 (UTC)

[He looks at the growing stack of weapons on his table, his eyes getting slightly larger as each one hits the surface with a thunk.

The rest of his face is impassive though.

And there is a very long pause as all of this information sinks in]

And if you'd managed to kill a demon. Let's even go as far to say you manged to get the drop on Asmodeus and kill him.

What then?

[There is an equally long pause before she responds, and she's much less visibly emotional by the time she does.]

...Obviously that wouldn't be the end of it. And you're right that I don't have a specific goal for "endgame." But that's not because I'm lacking conviction. I'm going to take the people responsible for this down and get out of here. And I'm going to bring the people I care about with me.

Just, specifically how that happens depends on the truth of what's happening here, and I don't know that yet. Killing Asmodeus would at least create a vacuum of power that would make things shift and maybe reveal more of what's going on in the chaos, right?

That is true. The power balance would shift. And perhaps the idol spies that work for Asmodeus would even be able to watch and report on the events that unfold so that we wouldn't be totally in the dark.

But consider for a moment if what we heard is true - and yes, I know you doubt most things but hear me out. In Asmodeus's realm, it was stated that only Pythia and Asmodeus cared about this production and dealing with humans.

What if removing Asmodeus brings someone even less palatable around? Or even worse, means the end of the production? It's the first run. A test. They don't have to keep it going.

IC Inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)