...I'm not completely incompetent, you know. It's not like I ever planned to just do nothing for and offer nothing to anyone else. I can gather information fine if I have anywhere to gather it from.
This has nothing to do with competency. Stop putting words in my mouth.
This has to do with the fact that you are surprised and hurt that people wouldn't tell you anything when at the time, you also were not telling people anything by design.
And you do so selectively. I also knew Exael's number. And when my brain wasn't leaking out of my ears - that the intel in Dissonance also came from Exael, and I didn't tell you. Are you upset at me too about that?
I wasn't telling people that I planned to act against the producers when I had a chance, or that I was making preparations for various things, because that could tip the producers off, and my plans were based around the element of surprise! If I had access to important information about what was going on in this place, I wouldn't just keep it to myself! And if I told anyone, I would definitely tell the people important to me! I just didn't have any of that information!
[fumes quietly for a moment]
...Yes, I was upset. Because it was upsetting when I was turning gray, losing all my memories, and terrified! I had no idea what was going on, no recourse to look to, and no idea what I could possibly do. And it was more upsetting to know that all my most important people did have those things, and left me in the dark.
I am upset at you too. Or, I was. And it does has to do with competence, because you clearly didn't trust me or think I could have done anything productive with the information, or you would have told me. Maybe that's my fault for not demonstrating I could, or that I was trustworthy. But that still upset me.
It’s not just about practice. I… it’s something that can easily be taken advantage of in a fight. I love my eyes, but if someone or something manages to fuck it up, then I’m useless. I need to be able to defend myself while I can’t see… and, yes, I have tried wearing a blindfold. It’s not the same.
[ she is in the workshop and so finding the ONLY door to get the fuck out of it is taking a lot longer than she thought it might. just give her a couple of minutes. she'll get there... ]
[ ...eventually. ]
[ seven minutes later she manages to get to the door, open it, and presumably walk right into him, because unless he was still knocking she has no idea that he's there yet... though she should probably have assumed. ]
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